Dear Diary: June 1st
Just moved to Oklahoma ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. It is beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 99 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks.. What a breeze to maintain.
No more mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the car at noon, Lomita had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car now smells like Kibbles and Shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one.
Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th
It's 110 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85.
I hate this stupid state.
Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to strangle him. Damn heat.
By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do Shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn state? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.
Forgot to crack the car window and blew the damn windshield out.
The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me???
"Hot enough for you today?"
My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Oklahoma .
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
Will write later to let you know how the trial goes...
Monday, July 25, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Reprinted from Dr Judith Orloff, M.D." Emotional Freedom"
Are You an Emotional Empath?
by Dr. Judith Orloff
adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s book, Emotional Freedom; printed here with the author's permission
Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything - sometimes to an extreme - and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they’re there for you as world-class nurturers.
The trademark of empaths is that they know where you’re coming from. Some can do this without taking on people’s feelings. However, for better or worse, others like myself and many of my patients can become angst-sucking sponges. This includes the sublime capacity to absorb positive emotions and all that is beautiful. If empaths are around peace and love, their bodies assimilate these and flourish. On the other hand, negativity often feels assaultive and exhausting.
Empaths are particularly easy marks for emotional vampires, whose fear or rage can be ravaging. As a subconscious defense, they may gain weight as a buffer; when thin, they’re more vulnerable to negativity. This is a missing cause of overeating explored in my book Positive Energy. An empath’s sensitivity can be overwhelming in romantic relationships; many stay single since they haven’t learned to negotiate their special cohabitation needs with a partner.
When empaths absorb the impact of stressful emotions, it can trigger panic attacks; depression; food, sex and drug binges; and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis from fatigue to agorophobia. Since I’m an empath, I want to help all my empath-patients cultivate this capacity and be comfortable with it.
Empathy doesn’t have to make you feel too much all the time. Now that I can center myself and refrain from shouldering civilization’s discontents, empathy continues to make me freer, igniting my compassion, vitality, and sense of the miraculous. To determine whether you’re an emotional empath, take the following quiz.
QUIZ: AM I AN EMPATH?
Ask yourself:
Have I been labeled as too emotional or overly sensitive?
If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
Are my feelings easily hurt?
Am I emotionally drained by crowds, and require time alone to revive?
Do my nerves get frayed by noises, smells, or excessive talk?
Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?
Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?
Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?
If you answer yes to 1-3 of these questions, you’re at least part empath. Responding yes to more than three indicates that you’ve found your emotional type.
Recognizing that you’re an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of constantly drowning in them. Staying on top of empathy will improve your self-care and relationships.
Emotional Action Step: How To Find Balance
Practice these strategies to center yourself:
Allow quiet time to emotionally decompress. Get in the habit of taking calming mini-breaks throughout the day. Breathe in some fresh air. Stretch. Take a short walk around the office. These interludes will reduce the excessive stimulation of going non-stop.
Practice guerilla meditation. To counter emotional overload, act fast and meditate for a few minutes. This centers your energy so you don’t take it on from others.
Define and honor your empathic needs. Safeguard your sensitivities. Here’s how:
*If someone asks too much of you, politely tell them no. It’s not necessary to explain why. As the saying goes, No is a complete sentence.
*If your comfort level is three hours max for socializing - even if you adore the people - take your own car or have an alternate transportation plan so you’re not stranded.
*If crowds are overwhelming, eat a high-protein meal beforehand (this grounds you), and sit in the far corner of a theater or party, not dead center.
*If you feel nuked by perfume, nicely request that your friends refrain from wearing it around you. If you can’t avoid it, stand near a window or take frequent breaks to catch a breath of fresh air outdoors.
*If you overeat to numb negative emotions, practice the guerilla meditation mentioned above before you’re lured to the refrigerator, a potential vortex of temptation. As an emergency measure, keep a cushion by the fridge so you can be poised to meditate instead of binge.
*Carve out private space at home so you won’t be stricken by the feeling of too much togetherness. (In chapter eight of Emotional Freedom, I discuss nontraditional living settings compatible with an empath’s comfort zone.)
Over time, I suggest adding to this list to keep yourself covered. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel each time you’re on emotional overload. With pragmatic coping strategies, empaths can have quicker retorts, feel safer, and their talents can blossom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judith Orloff, M.D., is the author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, upon which this article is based. An assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, she synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. Dr. Orloff will be giving a weekend intensive at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, from October 28-30, 2011, on The Power of Intuition and Emotions to Heal. For more information, visit, drjudithorloff.com or www.esalen.org.
by Dr. Judith Orloff
adapted from Dr. Judith Orloff’s book, Emotional Freedom; printed here with the author's permission
Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything - sometimes to an extreme - and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they’re there for you as world-class nurturers.
The trademark of empaths is that they know where you’re coming from. Some can do this without taking on people’s feelings. However, for better or worse, others like myself and many of my patients can become angst-sucking sponges. This includes the sublime capacity to absorb positive emotions and all that is beautiful. If empaths are around peace and love, their bodies assimilate these and flourish. On the other hand, negativity often feels assaultive and exhausting.
Empaths are particularly easy marks for emotional vampires, whose fear or rage can be ravaging. As a subconscious defense, they may gain weight as a buffer; when thin, they’re more vulnerable to negativity. This is a missing cause of overeating explored in my book Positive Energy. An empath’s sensitivity can be overwhelming in romantic relationships; many stay single since they haven’t learned to negotiate their special cohabitation needs with a partner.
When empaths absorb the impact of stressful emotions, it can trigger panic attacks; depression; food, sex and drug binges; and a plethora of physical symptoms that defy traditional medical diagnosis from fatigue to agorophobia. Since I’m an empath, I want to help all my empath-patients cultivate this capacity and be comfortable with it.
Empathy doesn’t have to make you feel too much all the time. Now that I can center myself and refrain from shouldering civilization’s discontents, empathy continues to make me freer, igniting my compassion, vitality, and sense of the miraculous. To determine whether you’re an emotional empath, take the following quiz.
QUIZ: AM I AN EMPATH?
Ask yourself:
Have I been labeled as too emotional or overly sensitive?
If a friend is distraught, do I start feeling it too?
Are my feelings easily hurt?
Am I emotionally drained by crowds, and require time alone to revive?
Do my nerves get frayed by noises, smells, or excessive talk?
Do I prefer taking my own car places so that I can leave when I please?
Do I overeat to cope with emotional stress?
Am I afraid of becoming engulfed by intimate relationships?
If you answer yes to 1-3 of these questions, you’re at least part empath. Responding yes to more than three indicates that you’ve found your emotional type.
Recognizing that you’re an empath is the first step in taking charge of your emotions instead of constantly drowning in them. Staying on top of empathy will improve your self-care and relationships.
Emotional Action Step: How To Find Balance
Practice these strategies to center yourself:
Allow quiet time to emotionally decompress. Get in the habit of taking calming mini-breaks throughout the day. Breathe in some fresh air. Stretch. Take a short walk around the office. These interludes will reduce the excessive stimulation of going non-stop.
Practice guerilla meditation. To counter emotional overload, act fast and meditate for a few minutes. This centers your energy so you don’t take it on from others.
Define and honor your empathic needs. Safeguard your sensitivities. Here’s how:
*If someone asks too much of you, politely tell them no. It’s not necessary to explain why. As the saying goes, No is a complete sentence.
*If your comfort level is three hours max for socializing - even if you adore the people - take your own car or have an alternate transportation plan so you’re not stranded.
*If crowds are overwhelming, eat a high-protein meal beforehand (this grounds you), and sit in the far corner of a theater or party, not dead center.
*If you feel nuked by perfume, nicely request that your friends refrain from wearing it around you. If you can’t avoid it, stand near a window or take frequent breaks to catch a breath of fresh air outdoors.
*If you overeat to numb negative emotions, practice the guerilla meditation mentioned above before you’re lured to the refrigerator, a potential vortex of temptation. As an emergency measure, keep a cushion by the fridge so you can be poised to meditate instead of binge.
*Carve out private space at home so you won’t be stricken by the feeling of too much togetherness. (In chapter eight of Emotional Freedom, I discuss nontraditional living settings compatible with an empath’s comfort zone.)
Over time, I suggest adding to this list to keep yourself covered. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel each time you’re on emotional overload. With pragmatic coping strategies, empaths can have quicker retorts, feel safer, and their talents can blossom.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judith Orloff, M.D., is the author of the New York Times bestseller Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, upon which this article is based. An assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, she synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition and energy medicine. Dr. Orloff will be giving a weekend intensive at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, from October 28-30, 2011, on The Power of Intuition and Emotions to Heal. For more information, visit, drjudithorloff.com or www.esalen.org.
Monday, May 30, 2011
45 Seconds: Memoirs of an ER Doctor from Joplin
Subject: 45 Seconds: Memoirs of an ER Doctor from Joplin
Emergency Department after May 22 tornado Joplin MO
My name is Dr. Kevin Kikta, and I was one of two emergency room doctors who were on duty at St. John’s Regional Medical Center in Joplin, MO on Sunday, May 22, 2011.
You never know that it will be the most important day of your life until the day is over. The day started like any other day for me waking up, eating, going to the gym, showering, and going to my 4:00pm ER shift. As I drove to the hospital I mentally prepared for my shift as I always do, but nothing could ever have prepared me for what was going to happen on this shift. Things were normal for the first hour and half. At approximately 5:30 pm we received a warning that a tornado had been spotted. Although I work in Joplin and went to medical school in Oklahoma, I live in New Jersey, and I have never seen or been in a tornado. I learned that a “code gray” was being called. We were to start bringing patients to safer spots within the ED and hospital.
At 5:42 pm a security guard yelled to everyone, “Take cover! We are about to get hit by a tornado!” I ran with a pregnant RN, Shilo Cook, while others scattered to various places, to the only place that I was familiar with in the hospital without windows, a small doctor’s office in the ED. Together, Shilo and I tremored and huddled under a desk. We heard a loud horrifying sound like a large locomotive ripping through the hospital. The whole hospital shook and vibrated as we heard glass shattering, light bulbs popping, walls collapsing, people screaming, the ceiling caving in above us, and water pipes breakingshowering water down on everything. We suffered this in complete darkness, unaware of anyone else’s status, worried, scared. We could feel a tight pressure in our heads as the tornado annihilated thhospital and the surrounding area. The whole process took about 45 seconds, but seemed like eternity. The hospital had just taken a direct hit from a category EF5 tornado.
Then it was over. Just 45 seconds. 45 long seconds. We looked at each other, terrified, and thanked God that we were alive. We didn’t know, but hoped that it was safe enough to go back out to the ED, find the rest of the staff and patients, and assess our losses.
“Like a bomb went off. ” That’s the only way that I can describe what we saw next. Patients were coming into the ED in droves. It was absolute, utter chaos. They were limping, bleeding, crying, terrified, with debris and glass sticking out of them, just thankful to be alive. The floor was covered with about 3 inches of water, there was no power, not even backup generators, rendering it completely dark and eerie in the ED. The frightening aroma of methane gas leaking from the broken gas lines permeated the air; we knew, but did not dare mention aloud, what that meant. I redoubled my pace.
We had to use flashlights to direct ourselves to the crying and wounded. Where did all the flashlights come from? I’ll never know, but immediately, and thankfully, my years of training in emergency procedures kicked in. There was no power, but our mental generators were up and running, and on high test adrenaline. We had no cell phone service in the first hour, so we were not even able to call forhelp and backup in the ED.
I remember a patient in his early 20’s gasping for breath, telling me that he was going to die. After a quick exam, I removed the large shard of glass from his back, made the clinical diagnosis of pneumothorax (collapsed lung) and gathered supplies from wherever I could locate them to insert a thoracostomy tube in him. He was a trooper; I’ll never forget his courage. He allowed me to do this without any local anesthetic since none could be found. With his life threatening injuries I knew he was running out of time, and it had to be done. Quickly. Imagine my relief when I heard a big rush of air, and breath sounds again; fortunately, I was able to get him transported out. I immediately moved on to the next patient, an asthmatic in status asthmaticus. We didn’t even have the option of trying a nebulizer treatment or steroids, but I was able to get him intubated using a flashlight that I held in my mouth. A small child of approximately 3-4 years of age was crying; he had a large avulsion of skin to his neck and spine. The gaping wound revealed his cervical spine and upper thoracic spine bones. I could actually count his vertebrae with my fingers. This was a child, his whole life ahead of him, suffering life threatening wounds in front of me, his eyes pleading me to help him.. We could not find any pediatric C collars in the darkness, and water from the shattered main pipes was once again showering down upon all of us. Fortunately, we were able to get him immobilized with towels, and start an IV with fluids and pain meds before shipping him out. We felt paralyzed and helpless ourselves.
I didn’t even know a lot of the RN’s I was working with. They were from departments scattered all over the hospital. It didn’t matter. We worked as a team, determined to save lives. There were no specialists available -- my orthopedist was trapped in the OR. We were it, and we knew we had to get patients out of the hospital as quickly as possible. As we were shuffling them out, the fire department showed up and helped us to evacuate. Together we worked furiously, motivated by the knowledge and fear that the methane leaks could cause the hospital could blow up at any minute.
Things were no better outside of the ED. I saw a man crushed under a large SUV, still alive, begging for help; another one was dead, impaled by a street sign through his chest. Wounded people were walking, staggering, all over, dazed and shocked. All around us was chaos, reminding me of scenes in a war movie, or newsreels from bombings in Bagdad. Except this was right in front of me and it had happened in just 45 seconds. My own car was blown away. Gone. Seemingly evaporated. We searched within a half mile radius later that night, but never found the car, only the littered, crumpled remains of former cars. And a John Deere tractor that had blown in from miles away.
Tragedy has a way of revealing human goodness. As I worked, surrounded by devastation and suffering, I realized I was not alone. The people of the community of Joplin were absolutely incredible. Within minutes of the horrific event, local residents showed up in pickups and sport utility vehicles, all offering to help transport the wounded to other facilities, including Freeman, the trauma center literally across the street. Ironically, it had sustained only minimal damage and was functioning (although I’m sure overwhelmed). I carried on, grateful for the help of the community.
Within hours I estimated that over 100 EMS units showed up from various towns, counties and four different states. Considering the circumstances, their response time was miraculous. Roads were blocked with downed utility lines, smashed up cars in piles, and they still made it through.
We continued to carry patients out of the hospital on anything that we could find: sheets, stretchers, broken doors, mattresses, wheelchairs—anything that could be used as a transport mechanism.
As I finished up what I could do at St John’s, I walked with two RN’s, Shilo Cook and Julie Vandorn, to a makeshift MASH center that was being set up miles away at Memorial Hall. We walked where flourishing neighborhoods once stood, astonished to see only the disastrous remains of flattened homes, body parts, and dead people everywhere. I saw a small dog just wimpering in circles over his master who was dead, unaware that his master would not ever play with him again. At one point we tended to a young woman who just stood crying over her dead mother who was crushed by her own home. The young woman covered her mother up with a blanket and then asked all of us, “What should I do?” We had no answer for her, but silence and tears.
By this time news crews and photographers were starting to swarm around, and we were able to get a ride to Memorial Hall from another RN. The chaos was slightly more controlled at Memorial Hall. I was relieved to see many of my colleagues, doctors from every specialty, helping out. It was amazing to be able to see life again. It was also amazing to see how fast workers mobilized to set up this MASH unit under the circumstances. Supplies, food, drink, generators, exam tables, all were there—except pharmaceutical pain meds. I sutured multiple lacerations, and splinted many fractures, including some open with bone exposed, and then intubated another patient with severe COPD, slightly better controlled conditions this time, but still less than optimal.
But we really needed pain meds. I managed to go back to the St John’s with another physician, pharmacist, and a sheriff’s officer. Luckily, security let us in to a highly guarded pharmacy to bring back a garbage bucket sized supply of pain meds.
At about midnight I walked around the parking lot of St. John’s with local law enforcement officers looking for anyone who might be alive or trapped in crushed cars. They spray-painted “X”s on the fortunate vehicles that had been searched without finding anyone inside. The unfortunate vehicles wore “X’s” and sprayed-on numerals, indicating the number of dead inside, crushed in their cars, cars which now resembled flattened recycled aluminum cans the tornado had crumpled in her iron hands, an EF5 tornado, one of the worst in history, whipping through this quiet town with demonic strength. I
continued back to Memorial hall into the early morning hours until my ER colleagues told me it was time for me to go home. I was completely exhausted. I had seen enough of my first tornado.
How can one describe these indescribable scenes of destruction? The next day I saw news coverage of this horrible, deadly tornado. It was excellent coverage, and Mike Bettes from the Weather Channel did a great job, but there is nothing that pictures and video can depict compared to seeing it in person. That video will play forever in my mind.
I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to everyone involved in helping during this nightmarish disaster. My fellow doctors, RN’s, techs, and all of the staff from St. John’s. I have worked at St John’s for approximately 2 years, and I have always been proud to say that I was a physician at St John’s in Joplin, MO. The smart, selfless and immediate response of the professionals and the community during this catastrophe proves to me that St John’s and the surrounding community are special. I am beyond proud.
To the members of this community, the health care workers from states away, and especially Freeman Medical Center, I commend everyone on unselfishly coming together and giving 110% the way that you all did, even in your own time of need. St John’s Regional Medical Center is gone, but her spirit and goodness lives on in each of you.
EMS, you should be proud of yourselves. You were all excellent, and did a great job despite incredible difficulties and against all odds
For all of the injured who I treated, although I do not remember your names (nor would I expect you to remember mine) I will never forget your faces. I’m glad that I was able to make a difference and help in the best way that I knew how, and hopefully give some of you a chance at rebuilding your lives again. For those whom I was not able to get to or treat, I apologize whole heartedly.
Last, but not least, thank you, and God bless you, Mercy/St John’s for providing incredible care in good times and even more so, in times of the unthinkable, and for all the training that enabled us to be a team and treat the people and save lives.
Sincerely,
Kevin J. Kikta, DO
Department of Emergency Medicine
Mercy/St John’s Regional Medical Center, Joplin, MO
Emergency Department after May 22 tornado Joplin MO
My name is Dr. Kevin Kikta, and I was one of two emergency room doctors who were on duty at St. John’s Regional Medical Center in Joplin, MO on Sunday, May 22, 2011.
You never know that it will be the most important day of your life until the day is over. The day started like any other day for me waking up, eating, going to the gym, showering, and going to my 4:00pm ER shift. As I drove to the hospital I mentally prepared for my shift as I always do, but nothing could ever have prepared me for what was going to happen on this shift. Things were normal for the first hour and half. At approximately 5:30 pm we received a warning that a tornado had been spotted. Although I work in Joplin and went to medical school in Oklahoma, I live in New Jersey, and I have never seen or been in a tornado. I learned that a “code gray” was being called. We were to start bringing patients to safer spots within the ED and hospital.
At 5:42 pm a security guard yelled to everyone, “Take cover! We are about to get hit by a tornado!” I ran with a pregnant RN, Shilo Cook, while others scattered to various places, to the only place that I was familiar with in the hospital without windows, a small doctor’s office in the ED. Together, Shilo and I tremored and huddled under a desk. We heard a loud horrifying sound like a large locomotive ripping through the hospital. The whole hospital shook and vibrated as we heard glass shattering, light bulbs popping, walls collapsing, people screaming, the ceiling caving in above us, and water pipes breakingshowering water down on everything. We suffered this in complete darkness, unaware of anyone else’s status, worried, scared. We could feel a tight pressure in our heads as the tornado annihilated thhospital and the surrounding area. The whole process took about 45 seconds, but seemed like eternity. The hospital had just taken a direct hit from a category EF5 tornado.
Then it was over. Just 45 seconds. 45 long seconds. We looked at each other, terrified, and thanked God that we were alive. We didn’t know, but hoped that it was safe enough to go back out to the ED, find the rest of the staff and patients, and assess our losses.
“Like a bomb went off. ” That’s the only way that I can describe what we saw next. Patients were coming into the ED in droves. It was absolute, utter chaos. They were limping, bleeding, crying, terrified, with debris and glass sticking out of them, just thankful to be alive. The floor was covered with about 3 inches of water, there was no power, not even backup generators, rendering it completely dark and eerie in the ED. The frightening aroma of methane gas leaking from the broken gas lines permeated the air; we knew, but did not dare mention aloud, what that meant. I redoubled my pace.
We had to use flashlights to direct ourselves to the crying and wounded. Where did all the flashlights come from? I’ll never know, but immediately, and thankfully, my years of training in emergency procedures kicked in. There was no power, but our mental generators were up and running, and on high test adrenaline. We had no cell phone service in the first hour, so we were not even able to call forhelp and backup in the ED.
I remember a patient in his early 20’s gasping for breath, telling me that he was going to die. After a quick exam, I removed the large shard of glass from his back, made the clinical diagnosis of pneumothorax (collapsed lung) and gathered supplies from wherever I could locate them to insert a thoracostomy tube in him. He was a trooper; I’ll never forget his courage. He allowed me to do this without any local anesthetic since none could be found. With his life threatening injuries I knew he was running out of time, and it had to be done. Quickly. Imagine my relief when I heard a big rush of air, and breath sounds again; fortunately, I was able to get him transported out. I immediately moved on to the next patient, an asthmatic in status asthmaticus. We didn’t even have the option of trying a nebulizer treatment or steroids, but I was able to get him intubated using a flashlight that I held in my mouth. A small child of approximately 3-4 years of age was crying; he had a large avulsion of skin to his neck and spine. The gaping wound revealed his cervical spine and upper thoracic spine bones. I could actually count his vertebrae with my fingers. This was a child, his whole life ahead of him, suffering life threatening wounds in front of me, his eyes pleading me to help him.. We could not find any pediatric C collars in the darkness, and water from the shattered main pipes was once again showering down upon all of us. Fortunately, we were able to get him immobilized with towels, and start an IV with fluids and pain meds before shipping him out. We felt paralyzed and helpless ourselves.
I didn’t even know a lot of the RN’s I was working with. They were from departments scattered all over the hospital. It didn’t matter. We worked as a team, determined to save lives. There were no specialists available -- my orthopedist was trapped in the OR. We were it, and we knew we had to get patients out of the hospital as quickly as possible. As we were shuffling them out, the fire department showed up and helped us to evacuate. Together we worked furiously, motivated by the knowledge and fear that the methane leaks could cause the hospital could blow up at any minute.
Things were no better outside of the ED. I saw a man crushed under a large SUV, still alive, begging for help; another one was dead, impaled by a street sign through his chest. Wounded people were walking, staggering, all over, dazed and shocked. All around us was chaos, reminding me of scenes in a war movie, or newsreels from bombings in Bagdad. Except this was right in front of me and it had happened in just 45 seconds. My own car was blown away. Gone. Seemingly evaporated. We searched within a half mile radius later that night, but never found the car, only the littered, crumpled remains of former cars. And a John Deere tractor that had blown in from miles away.
Tragedy has a way of revealing human goodness. As I worked, surrounded by devastation and suffering, I realized I was not alone. The people of the community of Joplin were absolutely incredible. Within minutes of the horrific event, local residents showed up in pickups and sport utility vehicles, all offering to help transport the wounded to other facilities, including Freeman, the trauma center literally across the street. Ironically, it had sustained only minimal damage and was functioning (although I’m sure overwhelmed). I carried on, grateful for the help of the community.
Within hours I estimated that over 100 EMS units showed up from various towns, counties and four different states. Considering the circumstances, their response time was miraculous. Roads were blocked with downed utility lines, smashed up cars in piles, and they still made it through.
We continued to carry patients out of the hospital on anything that we could find: sheets, stretchers, broken doors, mattresses, wheelchairs—anything that could be used as a transport mechanism.
As I finished up what I could do at St John’s, I walked with two RN’s, Shilo Cook and Julie Vandorn, to a makeshift MASH center that was being set up miles away at Memorial Hall. We walked where flourishing neighborhoods once stood, astonished to see only the disastrous remains of flattened homes, body parts, and dead people everywhere. I saw a small dog just wimpering in circles over his master who was dead, unaware that his master would not ever play with him again. At one point we tended to a young woman who just stood crying over her dead mother who was crushed by her own home. The young woman covered her mother up with a blanket and then asked all of us, “What should I do?” We had no answer for her, but silence and tears.
By this time news crews and photographers were starting to swarm around, and we were able to get a ride to Memorial Hall from another RN. The chaos was slightly more controlled at Memorial Hall. I was relieved to see many of my colleagues, doctors from every specialty, helping out. It was amazing to be able to see life again. It was also amazing to see how fast workers mobilized to set up this MASH unit under the circumstances. Supplies, food, drink, generators, exam tables, all were there—except pharmaceutical pain meds. I sutured multiple lacerations, and splinted many fractures, including some open with bone exposed, and then intubated another patient with severe COPD, slightly better controlled conditions this time, but still less than optimal.
But we really needed pain meds. I managed to go back to the St John’s with another physician, pharmacist, and a sheriff’s officer. Luckily, security let us in to a highly guarded pharmacy to bring back a garbage bucket sized supply of pain meds.
At about midnight I walked around the parking lot of St. John’s with local law enforcement officers looking for anyone who might be alive or trapped in crushed cars. They spray-painted “X”s on the fortunate vehicles that had been searched without finding anyone inside. The unfortunate vehicles wore “X’s” and sprayed-on numerals, indicating the number of dead inside, crushed in their cars, cars which now resembled flattened recycled aluminum cans the tornado had crumpled in her iron hands, an EF5 tornado, one of the worst in history, whipping through this quiet town with demonic strength. I
continued back to Memorial hall into the early morning hours until my ER colleagues told me it was time for me to go home. I was completely exhausted. I had seen enough of my first tornado.
How can one describe these indescribable scenes of destruction? The next day I saw news coverage of this horrible, deadly tornado. It was excellent coverage, and Mike Bettes from the Weather Channel did a great job, but there is nothing that pictures and video can depict compared to seeing it in person. That video will play forever in my mind.
I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to everyone involved in helping during this nightmarish disaster. My fellow doctors, RN’s, techs, and all of the staff from St. John’s. I have worked at St John’s for approximately 2 years, and I have always been proud to say that I was a physician at St John’s in Joplin, MO. The smart, selfless and immediate response of the professionals and the community during this catastrophe proves to me that St John’s and the surrounding community are special. I am beyond proud.
To the members of this community, the health care workers from states away, and especially Freeman Medical Center, I commend everyone on unselfishly coming together and giving 110% the way that you all did, even in your own time of need. St John’s Regional Medical Center is gone, but her spirit and goodness lives on in each of you.
EMS, you should be proud of yourselves. You were all excellent, and did a great job despite incredible difficulties and against all odds
For all of the injured who I treated, although I do not remember your names (nor would I expect you to remember mine) I will never forget your faces. I’m glad that I was able to make a difference and help in the best way that I knew how, and hopefully give some of you a chance at rebuilding your lives again. For those whom I was not able to get to or treat, I apologize whole heartedly.
Last, but not least, thank you, and God bless you, Mercy/St John’s for providing incredible care in good times and even more so, in times of the unthinkable, and for all the training that enabled us to be a team and treat the people and save lives.
Sincerely,
Kevin J. Kikta, DO
Department of Emergency Medicine
Mercy/St John’s Regional Medical Center, Joplin, MO
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Bruce Feldman Blog ...an incredible story...PROS FOR AFRICA
Just wanted to share Bruce's Blog on Pros For Africa....Roy Williams giving back in Africa
May, 16, 2011 Roy Williams, the former Oklahoma star, has been a guy I've tried to follow his entire NFL career. As much as I remember that spectacular play he made in the Red River Rivalry, where he flew, Superman style, in from the blindside over a Texas running back to jar the ball loose from Texas quarterback Chris Simms, I also think back to the way he opened up about the stigma he had faced when he was younger, struggling in school as "a resource kid." Initially, that ESPN The Magazine feature on Williams was going to focus on him being such an "instinctive" player, but the more I talked to him and those close to him, the more it proved to be something much more than that. He spoke about how that label and other more blunt labels affected him growing up and he hoped by telling his story it would have an impact on other kids who might be dealing with similar issues.
A few weeks ago, I noticed a tweet from colleague John Saunders, where he mentioned Williams and a cause the five-time Pro Bowler is involved with called Pros For Africa. The more I read about Pros For Africa, which was formed by a group of old Oklahoma Sooners, the more curious I became.
Jay Mitchel, an Oklahoma City attorney who attempted to walk-on at OU for basketball in the late 90's, had become close friends with Williams and reached out to him two years ago to see if the Sooner great would be willing to raise awareness and money for a project in Africa that was the brainchild of his boss, Reggie Whitten, another Oklahoma City-based attorney. Whitten had begun plans to help a school run by Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe called the St. Monica's Girls Tailoring Centre in Gulu, Uganda after he had taken a life-changing trip to Africa in the wake of his son's death. Whitten chose Uganda because of the gruesome conditions for children in a country that has been so ravaged by war that the average age in northern Uganda is merely 15-years old. Many of these children's parents have been killed or died from disease.
"Northern Uganda has been ravaged by war and disease for more than 20 years," says Mitchel. "According to the United Nations, at one time it was one of the worst places on the planet for children. These kids need help. It's not their fault they were born into such terrible conditions. They are no different than us and so grateful when we come to visit. It's amazing to see how happy and content the people of Uganda are with so little.
To say Williams was moved would be an understatement: "I said 'I want to go as well. I am in.'"
Whitten, Mitchel and Williams along with another co-founder, Bill Horn, were able to also recruit fellow Sooner stars Mark Clayton, Tommie Harris and Adrian Peterson. "Jay called people he knew from college and I had hosted Tommie and Mark on their recruiting visits," said Williams. "They know I wouldn't get into something that doesn't have some substance behind it. They wanted to get on board too."
Even though the four OU All-Americans had grown up out of state with Harris, Clayton and Peterson being Texans and Williams, a Californian, they developed strong roots in the Oklahoma community and have left quite a legacy for OU football. It has grown to take on even more meaning thanks to the inspiring off-field work they're doing.
"Football is just what we do. It doesn't define who we are," Williams says. "We are some young men who love to give back. When I was in college, my hand was always the first hand to go up when Coach (Bob) Stoops would ask 'Who wants to go visit a hospital?' I know the importance of being able to give back and uplift somebody when we're in that position. If you spend 30 minutes or an hour to go to a hospital or visit somebody just to give some encouraging words or listen to them, that goes miles and miles."
They formed Pros For Africa, a nonprofit organization based in Oklahoma City. Last year, after taking 8-10 shots each and a weekly diet of Malaria pills, the group flew 19 hours from Oklahoma to Dallas through London en route to Africa with a team of physicians and engineers to provide humanitarian aid. They each paid their own way to get over there. The NFL stars dug water wells, started construction on a second school and distributed food.
Williams was overwhelmed by what he saw and by what he felt.
"It is so sad," he said. "There are kids everywhere. When you driving along the road to go to Gulu (Uganda), you see kids sharing watering holes with livestock. People always ask, 'Why do you have to go to Africa?' Well, until you see what it's really like over there, you don't realize how huge the need is. If you see how bad they are living, you'll think our homeless here in the States are living in luxury. They can put their hand out and people may give them money. They can go to a Salvation Army and someone will give them food. They can go to a shelter and have a roof over the heads. In Africa, it's so sad. Those are ever-lasting memories.
"I was just looking at some of the pictures we have with the kids. In spite of all the hardships that they go through, they still smile. We complain about a car cutting us off or traffic, where we honk our horns, but come on now. We worry about petty stuff. They have huge problems over there and they don't even complain about anything."
The group, which raised a little over $100,000 for the children of Africa in 2010, returned to Africa for two weeks in March with an even bigger contingent that included almost a dozen NFL players, among others recent Oklahoma star Gerald McCoy as well as the Starkey Hearing Foundation, which fitted more than 2,000 hearing aids on the trip.
According to Mitchel, hearing loss is a major issue facing the people in Africa, explaining that a basic ear infection in Africa may cause hearing loss if untreated. Other contributing factors include disease, trauma, genetics and other conditions. (Starkey teaches them to clean their ears, but with little access to medicine or medical treatment there isn't much anyone can do).
"I'm so happy that we added Starkey," said Williams. "To see a child's face, where they go from a blank look and then when you put that hearing aid on them and they hear for the first time, they start smiling and they start crying. And it's not just that fact that they're hearing for the first time, but they're hearing your voice, so it means that much more to you.
"When you hear more and more people want to get involved, you can feel the camaraderie, where you have that feeling that I am apart of something special. And that makes you appreciate what you're a part of even more. Then when you go on the trip to Africa, you see it. "Wow, look at the lives that we're able to impact. Look at these smiles on these kids and women's faces. Even talking about it makes it grow and appreciate it even more.
"I tell people all of the time when I speak to kids: It's not about how much money you have in the bank or what kind car you drive. Life is about the kind of impact you have on other people's lives while you're here. I ask them, 'What kind of legacy are you going to leave when you're dead and gone?' I want my legacy to live on through these young kids and women that we're helping so they can bless somebody else."
The Sooners support group also has branched out to form Pros 4 Vets, with country music star Toby Keith. Pros 4 Vets has recently put on a football camp for kids at Fort Hood and several of the football players have visited VA hospitals with P4V.
"It's so close to my heart because my grandpa was a vet," Williams says. "Whenever I go to a VA and talk with some of the older guys, I remember my time sitting with my grandpa. When they're talking, I feel like I've heard a lot of these stories before because it's like I'm listening to my grandpa again. I soak that up as much as I can."
Mitchel is bringing another contingent back to Africa in August with plans to start the construction of a third school in southern Sudan. The group is expected to also include some NBA players. Just last week, Mitchel and his brother Jared, staged a three-day Pros For Africa event in their hometown of Woodward, Okla. Clayton, Williams and more recent OU players Quinton Carter, Brody Eldridge and Reggie Smith attended the event that culminated with a dodgeball tournament. In all, Pros For Africa raised almost $20,000 for the children of Africa at the event.
Mitchel says the organization is in the process of planning several fundraisers, but don't have anything on paper. They are hoping to host one in New York with the Jets' Santonio Holmes as well as one in Tampa with McCoy.
Williams said he will be more hands on with the organizations after his football career is over. He hopes to continue to build on the momentum: "We want to partner up with more organization to reach more people," he said. "We would love to be able to actually go to each one of the countries in Africa to hand out hearing aids, dig some water wells. pass out clothes and conduct medical clinics. We want to be able to impact all of the countries over there to give them motivation to uplift them."
May, 16, 2011 Roy Williams, the former Oklahoma star, has been a guy I've tried to follow his entire NFL career. As much as I remember that spectacular play he made in the Red River Rivalry, where he flew, Superman style, in from the blindside over a Texas running back to jar the ball loose from Texas quarterback Chris Simms, I also think back to the way he opened up about the stigma he had faced when he was younger, struggling in school as "a resource kid." Initially, that ESPN The Magazine feature on Williams was going to focus on him being such an "instinctive" player, but the more I talked to him and those close to him, the more it proved to be something much more than that. He spoke about how that label and other more blunt labels affected him growing up and he hoped by telling his story it would have an impact on other kids who might be dealing with similar issues.
A few weeks ago, I noticed a tweet from colleague John Saunders, where he mentioned Williams and a cause the five-time Pro Bowler is involved with called Pros For Africa. The more I read about Pros For Africa, which was formed by a group of old Oklahoma Sooners, the more curious I became.
Jay Mitchel, an Oklahoma City attorney who attempted to walk-on at OU for basketball in the late 90's, had become close friends with Williams and reached out to him two years ago to see if the Sooner great would be willing to raise awareness and money for a project in Africa that was the brainchild of his boss, Reggie Whitten, another Oklahoma City-based attorney. Whitten had begun plans to help a school run by Sister Rosemary Nyirumbe called the St. Monica's Girls Tailoring Centre in Gulu, Uganda after he had taken a life-changing trip to Africa in the wake of his son's death. Whitten chose Uganda because of the gruesome conditions for children in a country that has been so ravaged by war that the average age in northern Uganda is merely 15-years old. Many of these children's parents have been killed or died from disease.
"Northern Uganda has been ravaged by war and disease for more than 20 years," says Mitchel. "According to the United Nations, at one time it was one of the worst places on the planet for children. These kids need help. It's not their fault they were born into such terrible conditions. They are no different than us and so grateful when we come to visit. It's amazing to see how happy and content the people of Uganda are with so little.
To say Williams was moved would be an understatement: "I said 'I want to go as well. I am in.'"
Whitten, Mitchel and Williams along with another co-founder, Bill Horn, were able to also recruit fellow Sooner stars Mark Clayton, Tommie Harris and Adrian Peterson. "Jay called people he knew from college and I had hosted Tommie and Mark on their recruiting visits," said Williams. "They know I wouldn't get into something that doesn't have some substance behind it. They wanted to get on board too."
Even though the four OU All-Americans had grown up out of state with Harris, Clayton and Peterson being Texans and Williams, a Californian, they developed strong roots in the Oklahoma community and have left quite a legacy for OU football. It has grown to take on even more meaning thanks to the inspiring off-field work they're doing.
"Football is just what we do. It doesn't define who we are," Williams says. "We are some young men who love to give back. When I was in college, my hand was always the first hand to go up when Coach (Bob) Stoops would ask 'Who wants to go visit a hospital?' I know the importance of being able to give back and uplift somebody when we're in that position. If you spend 30 minutes or an hour to go to a hospital or visit somebody just to give some encouraging words or listen to them, that goes miles and miles."
They formed Pros For Africa, a nonprofit organization based in Oklahoma City. Last year, after taking 8-10 shots each and a weekly diet of Malaria pills, the group flew 19 hours from Oklahoma to Dallas through London en route to Africa with a team of physicians and engineers to provide humanitarian aid. They each paid their own way to get over there. The NFL stars dug water wells, started construction on a second school and distributed food.
Williams was overwhelmed by what he saw and by what he felt.
"It is so sad," he said. "There are kids everywhere. When you driving along the road to go to Gulu (Uganda), you see kids sharing watering holes with livestock. People always ask, 'Why do you have to go to Africa?' Well, until you see what it's really like over there, you don't realize how huge the need is. If you see how bad they are living, you'll think our homeless here in the States are living in luxury. They can put their hand out and people may give them money. They can go to a Salvation Army and someone will give them food. They can go to a shelter and have a roof over the heads. In Africa, it's so sad. Those are ever-lasting memories.
"I was just looking at some of the pictures we have with the kids. In spite of all the hardships that they go through, they still smile. We complain about a car cutting us off or traffic, where we honk our horns, but come on now. We worry about petty stuff. They have huge problems over there and they don't even complain about anything."
The group, which raised a little over $100,000 for the children of Africa in 2010, returned to Africa for two weeks in March with an even bigger contingent that included almost a dozen NFL players, among others recent Oklahoma star Gerald McCoy as well as the Starkey Hearing Foundation, which fitted more than 2,000 hearing aids on the trip.
According to Mitchel, hearing loss is a major issue facing the people in Africa, explaining that a basic ear infection in Africa may cause hearing loss if untreated. Other contributing factors include disease, trauma, genetics and other conditions. (Starkey teaches them to clean their ears, but with little access to medicine or medical treatment there isn't much anyone can do).
"I'm so happy that we added Starkey," said Williams. "To see a child's face, where they go from a blank look and then when you put that hearing aid on them and they hear for the first time, they start smiling and they start crying. And it's not just that fact that they're hearing for the first time, but they're hearing your voice, so it means that much more to you.
"When you hear more and more people want to get involved, you can feel the camaraderie, where you have that feeling that I am apart of something special. And that makes you appreciate what you're a part of even more. Then when you go on the trip to Africa, you see it. "Wow, look at the lives that we're able to impact. Look at these smiles on these kids and women's faces. Even talking about it makes it grow and appreciate it even more.
"I tell people all of the time when I speak to kids: It's not about how much money you have in the bank or what kind car you drive. Life is about the kind of impact you have on other people's lives while you're here. I ask them, 'What kind of legacy are you going to leave when you're dead and gone?' I want my legacy to live on through these young kids and women that we're helping so they can bless somebody else."
The Sooners support group also has branched out to form Pros 4 Vets, with country music star Toby Keith. Pros 4 Vets has recently put on a football camp for kids at Fort Hood and several of the football players have visited VA hospitals with P4V.
"It's so close to my heart because my grandpa was a vet," Williams says. "Whenever I go to a VA and talk with some of the older guys, I remember my time sitting with my grandpa. When they're talking, I feel like I've heard a lot of these stories before because it's like I'm listening to my grandpa again. I soak that up as much as I can."
Mitchel is bringing another contingent back to Africa in August with plans to start the construction of a third school in southern Sudan. The group is expected to also include some NBA players. Just last week, Mitchel and his brother Jared, staged a three-day Pros For Africa event in their hometown of Woodward, Okla. Clayton, Williams and more recent OU players Quinton Carter, Brody Eldridge and Reggie Smith attended the event that culminated with a dodgeball tournament. In all, Pros For Africa raised almost $20,000 for the children of Africa at the event.
Mitchel says the organization is in the process of planning several fundraisers, but don't have anything on paper. They are hoping to host one in New York with the Jets' Santonio Holmes as well as one in Tampa with McCoy.
Williams said he will be more hands on with the organizations after his football career is over. He hopes to continue to build on the momentum: "We want to partner up with more organization to reach more people," he said. "We would love to be able to actually go to each one of the countries in Africa to hand out hearing aids, dig some water wells. pass out clothes and conduct medical clinics. We want to be able to impact all of the countries over there to give them motivation to uplift them."
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
..as much as I hate to say "go Texas"...I give Dallas props!
Recently, the City of Dallas, Texas, passed an ordinance stating that if a driver is pulled over by law enforcement and is not able to provide proof of insurance, their car is towed.
To retrieve their car after being impounded, they must show proof of insurance to have their car released. This has made it easy for the City of Dallas to remove uninsured cars that are typically driven mostly by illegals.
Shortly after the "No Insurance" ordinance was passed, the Dallas impound lots began to fill up and were full after only nine days. Most of the impounded cars were driven by illegals.
Not only must they provide proof of insurance to have their car released, they have to pay for the cost of the tow, a $350 fine, and $20 for every day their car is kept in the lot.
Dallas' solution gets uninsured drivers off the road WITHOUT making them show proof of nationality. Wonder how the ACLU or the Justice Department will get around this one.
Brings a tear to my eye.
GO Texas!
To retrieve their car after being impounded, they must show proof of insurance to have their car released. This has made it easy for the City of Dallas to remove uninsured cars that are typically driven mostly by illegals.
Shortly after the "No Insurance" ordinance was passed, the Dallas impound lots began to fill up and were full after only nine days. Most of the impounded cars were driven by illegals.
Not only must they provide proof of insurance to have their car released, they have to pay for the cost of the tow, a $350 fine, and $20 for every day their car is kept in the lot.
Dallas' solution gets uninsured drivers off the road WITHOUT making them show proof of nationality. Wonder how the ACLU or the Justice Department will get around this one.
Brings a tear to my eye.
GO Texas!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
mea culpa!
I'm new at this blogging thing...the correct acknowledgement for Synchronicity is SYNCHRONICITY
http://ofscarabs.blogspot.com/
http://ofscarabs.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Mass events in Tuscon
(thanks to Synchronicity)
In 1981, Jane Roberts/Seth published a book called The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events. This book is one of the most intriguing and also one of the most baffling.
In the book, Seth talks a lot about epidemics and about Three Mile Island and the Jonestown Massacre, events that occurred while he and Jane were writing the book. In this era of instant communication and 24/7 news coverage, however, we can add some other mass events to this list: 9-11; O.J. Simpson’s flight in the white Bronco after the murder of his wife; the Columbine shootings in April 1999; the 2007 Virginia Tech shooting; the Oklahoma City bombing; Hurricane Katrina and the devastation to New Orleans in 2005; Hurricane Andrew in 1992; the Indonesian tsunami in 2004; the Haitian earthquake in 2010. Those are just the mass events that come immediately to mind. There are many more. But you get the idea. A mass event is one that thrusts itself into our consciousness and changes our private, personal realities in some significant way.
Yesterday shooting and deaths in Tucson, Arizona certainly counts as a mass event. On a synchronistic level, it’s disturbing.
First, the fact that the shooting occurred in Arizona is significant. The state has been in the news recently because of Governor Brewer’s controversial immigration laws (racial profiling) and her denial of health insurance through Medicaid to individuals who need certain types of transplants in order to stay alive. Brewer claims these cuts are necessary, even though they save just over a million bucks from the state’s annual budget. The death panels that Sara Palin and her ilk screamed about during the health care debate last year (they’re going to kill your grandmother!) are a reality now in Arizona--but not because of 'Obama-care.' Already, two of the hundred individuals who need these transplants have died.
Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was outside a SAFEway grocery store to meet with constituents when she was shot at point blank range. (That one smacks of the dark trickster). The bullet went through her brain. Even though she has survived the surgery, only about five percent of individuals with this kind of injury survive. Yet, her surgeons are “cautiously optimistic.”
The federal judge who was killed – who simply dropped by as a show of support for Giffords after having gone to mass – was an immigration advocate.
The call for violence has entered the discourse of American politics in a way that is horrifying. On Palin’s Facebook page – since scrubbed – the face of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was depicted in the crosshairs of a gun. Glenn Beck called for the killing of filmmaker Michael Moore. Sharon Angle, the Tea Party candidate in Nevada in the 2010 elections, advocated that Americans exercise their “second amendment rights” against Obama’s “socialist agenda.” The second amendment to the Constitution was adopted in 1791 and protects the rights of the American people to “keep and bear arms.”
From a Sethian perspective in the mass events book: “People die when they are ready to die, for reasons that are their own. No person dies without a reason. The mass world is formed as the result of individual impulses. They meet and merge, and form platforms for action.”
If we, as individuals, create our realities from the inside out, as Seth contends, then what does that tell us about the roles played in today’s events? Why did federal judge John Roll just happen to walk over to the gathering outside Safeway? Why was Congresswoman Giffords so gravely injured? Why was an innocent nine-year-old girl killed in these shootings? The little girl, by the way, was Christina Taylor Green, featured in the book, Faces of Hope: Babies Born on 9/11. A baby born on the day of a terrorist act dies at the age of 9 during a terrorist act. Why would anyone choose such experiences, even at an unconscious, soul level?
Perhaps the individuals involved chose to be involved in these tragic dramas to bring collective attention to this culture of violent rhetoric that has grown even more vitriolic and excessive in the last several years. It’s not that human beings are flawed. “The quality of your lives is formed through the subjective realities of your feelings and mental constructions,” wrote Seth. “Beliefs that foster despair are biologically destructive. If mass action against appalling social or political conditions is not effective, then other means are taken, and they are often in the guise of epidemics or natural disasters.” Wakeup calls, in other words.
Perhaps Tucson – like 9-11, like Columbine, like all the other mass events through the decades - is one of America’s wakeup calls. Have we gotten the message - as individuals, a society, a culture, a planet?
In 1981, Jane Roberts/Seth published a book called The Individual and the Nature of Mass Events. This book is one of the most intriguing and also one of the most baffling.
In the book, Seth talks a lot about epidemics and about Three Mile Island and the Jonestown Massacre, events that occurred while he and Jane were writing the book. In this era of instant communication and 24/7 news coverage, however, we can add some other mass events to this list: 9-11; O.J. Simpson’s flight in the white Bronco after the murder of his wife; the Columbine shootings in April 1999; the 2007 Virginia Tech shooting; the Oklahoma City bombing; Hurricane Katrina and the devastation to New Orleans in 2005; Hurricane Andrew in 1992; the Indonesian tsunami in 2004; the Haitian earthquake in 2010. Those are just the mass events that come immediately to mind. There are many more. But you get the idea. A mass event is one that thrusts itself into our consciousness and changes our private, personal realities in some significant way.
Yesterday shooting and deaths in Tucson, Arizona certainly counts as a mass event. On a synchronistic level, it’s disturbing.
First, the fact that the shooting occurred in Arizona is significant. The state has been in the news recently because of Governor Brewer’s controversial immigration laws (racial profiling) and her denial of health insurance through Medicaid to individuals who need certain types of transplants in order to stay alive. Brewer claims these cuts are necessary, even though they save just over a million bucks from the state’s annual budget. The death panels that Sara Palin and her ilk screamed about during the health care debate last year (they’re going to kill your grandmother!) are a reality now in Arizona--but not because of 'Obama-care.' Already, two of the hundred individuals who need these transplants have died.
Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was outside a SAFEway grocery store to meet with constituents when she was shot at point blank range. (That one smacks of the dark trickster). The bullet went through her brain. Even though she has survived the surgery, only about five percent of individuals with this kind of injury survive. Yet, her surgeons are “cautiously optimistic.”
The federal judge who was killed – who simply dropped by as a show of support for Giffords after having gone to mass – was an immigration advocate.
The call for violence has entered the discourse of American politics in a way that is horrifying. On Palin’s Facebook page – since scrubbed – the face of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was depicted in the crosshairs of a gun. Glenn Beck called for the killing of filmmaker Michael Moore. Sharon Angle, the Tea Party candidate in Nevada in the 2010 elections, advocated that Americans exercise their “second amendment rights” against Obama’s “socialist agenda.” The second amendment to the Constitution was adopted in 1791 and protects the rights of the American people to “keep and bear arms.”
From a Sethian perspective in the mass events book: “People die when they are ready to die, for reasons that are their own. No person dies without a reason. The mass world is formed as the result of individual impulses. They meet and merge, and form platforms for action.”
If we, as individuals, create our realities from the inside out, as Seth contends, then what does that tell us about the roles played in today’s events? Why did federal judge John Roll just happen to walk over to the gathering outside Safeway? Why was Congresswoman Giffords so gravely injured? Why was an innocent nine-year-old girl killed in these shootings? The little girl, by the way, was Christina Taylor Green, featured in the book, Faces of Hope: Babies Born on 9/11. A baby born on the day of a terrorist act dies at the age of 9 during a terrorist act. Why would anyone choose such experiences, even at an unconscious, soul level?
Perhaps the individuals involved chose to be involved in these tragic dramas to bring collective attention to this culture of violent rhetoric that has grown even more vitriolic and excessive in the last several years. It’s not that human beings are flawed. “The quality of your lives is formed through the subjective realities of your feelings and mental constructions,” wrote Seth. “Beliefs that foster despair are biologically destructive. If mass action against appalling social or political conditions is not effective, then other means are taken, and they are often in the guise of epidemics or natural disasters.” Wakeup calls, in other words.
Perhaps Tucson – like 9-11, like Columbine, like all the other mass events through the decades - is one of America’s wakeup calls. Have we gotten the message - as individuals, a society, a culture, a planet?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Leaving Your Married Lover - Sex Q&A
Yes...I believe he is right....some people will never be able to allow the bliss, the suffering to enter their lives...
I have known it and he is right.
Leaving Your Married Lover - Sex Q&A
I have known it and he is right.
Leaving Your Married Lover - Sex Q&A
Friday, August 27, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Shield Yourself From Negativity - Psychic Workout
In my healing work I have to make a conscious effort to not let other people's problems, hurt, negativity affect my life. This is a constant battle ....I hope this article might help other's who are struggling too.
Shield Yourself From Negativity - Psychic Workout
Shield Yourself From Negativity - Psychic Workout
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
I absolutely adore Liam!
I am sharing his post today because I happen to agree wholeheartedly!
I have struggled through three marriages now, and I'm in the process of separation from the third. I have been unhappy in them all in the end. I want my freedom, but I also want that great love that never seems to be found. Is there hope for me? Is there truly someone for everyone, or will I now stay single for the rest of my life?
Liam's Response:
Greetings, Ms. Kay. Your situation is not at all uncommon, and the disillusionment you feel is part of the modern condition of human emotion in relationships. In Western culture, we have this peculiar notion of entitlement, or cosmic right, some sort of divine edict that promises every one of us a passionate, loving, and above all monogamous relationship with plenty of health and wealth and happily-ever-afters for one and all. Now we know the natural world works quite differently, but we're all a bit spoiled, seeking magical answers and spiritual fixes to nature's foreboding reality.
You speak of love so lightly, as if it's just something you get--like a prize for being a good girl. Let me tell you that true love is a perilous business, full of heat and viciousness. It's not something everyone experiences--many simply can't because they are sensually dead, numb to the point of nonexistence, rebelling against the reality of love's dangerous and delicious grasp.
You wish a great love, Kay? Then you must be willing to feel great pain. For that is most often the price. To invite love, you need to delve into more poetic modes of thinking, and that means less text messaging, less Entertainment Tonight, and more literature, even the ballet now and again. Your diet of over-processed foods has to change. You must disregard the mind for the body, and get in touch with your physical self with the help of yoga, dance, and exercise. Mostly, though, you have to forget about obtaining love for yourself in order to obtain happiness. Love doesn't bring happiness. It brings sheer joy and blinding ecstasy. It also brings desperate despair, even hatred. And no matter what, Love is always about that other person. Not yourself.
Concentrate on others for a time. Forget about what they might bring to you and start focusing on them as interesting beings in their own right. Focus on their feelings, hopes, and joys. Try to see other people as invitations to adventure, each person a new universe waiting to be explored. In dating, disregard all those checklists you have of what you need or want out of a mate and simply take an interest in another person's experience. I'm not talking about you meeting Mr. Right. I'm talking about changing your perception, and thus your world. We walk before we run. But when we run, we fly.
Be well Kay,
Liam
I have struggled through three marriages now, and I'm in the process of separation from the third. I have been unhappy in them all in the end. I want my freedom, but I also want that great love that never seems to be found. Is there hope for me? Is there truly someone for everyone, or will I now stay single for the rest of my life?
Liam's Response:
Greetings, Ms. Kay. Your situation is not at all uncommon, and the disillusionment you feel is part of the modern condition of human emotion in relationships. In Western culture, we have this peculiar notion of entitlement, or cosmic right, some sort of divine edict that promises every one of us a passionate, loving, and above all monogamous relationship with plenty of health and wealth and happily-ever-afters for one and all. Now we know the natural world works quite differently, but we're all a bit spoiled, seeking magical answers and spiritual fixes to nature's foreboding reality.
You speak of love so lightly, as if it's just something you get--like a prize for being a good girl. Let me tell you that true love is a perilous business, full of heat and viciousness. It's not something everyone experiences--many simply can't because they are sensually dead, numb to the point of nonexistence, rebelling against the reality of love's dangerous and delicious grasp.
You wish a great love, Kay? Then you must be willing to feel great pain. For that is most often the price. To invite love, you need to delve into more poetic modes of thinking, and that means less text messaging, less Entertainment Tonight, and more literature, even the ballet now and again. Your diet of over-processed foods has to change. You must disregard the mind for the body, and get in touch with your physical self with the help of yoga, dance, and exercise. Mostly, though, you have to forget about obtaining love for yourself in order to obtain happiness. Love doesn't bring happiness. It brings sheer joy and blinding ecstasy. It also brings desperate despair, even hatred. And no matter what, Love is always about that other person. Not yourself.
Concentrate on others for a time. Forget about what they might bring to you and start focusing on them as interesting beings in their own right. Focus on their feelings, hopes, and joys. Try to see other people as invitations to adventure, each person a new universe waiting to be explored. In dating, disregard all those checklists you have of what you need or want out of a mate and simply take an interest in another person's experience. I'm not talking about you meeting Mr. Right. I'm talking about changing your perception, and thus your world. We walk before we run. But when we run, we fly.
Be well Kay,
Liam
Monday, August 9, 2010
I've been away for awhile.....
I'm on a quest to find something of great value...I think it has to do with my life path and I ran across this today:
I LOVE this , I hope you do too.
Reason, Season and Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered
and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
those things you must build upon
in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person/people (anyway);
and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
~Author Unknown
I LOVE this , I hope you do too.
Reason, Season and Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered
and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
those things you must build upon
in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person/people (anyway);
and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
~Author Unknown
Sunday, May 9, 2010
From Jonathan Cainer,,,HUH????
I'm fascinated by a news story from Ahmedabad, India, about an 82-year-old gentleman called Prahlad Jani. He's been under observation in Sterling Hospital, under the care of neurologist, Sudhir Shah. This is the second time Dr Shah has studied Mr Jani. Back in 2003, when this gracefully bearded holy man was a sprightly youth of 75, Mr Shah also kept him under 24-hour surveillance for ten days. Mr Jani, it seems, practises the ancient art of inedia. He does not eat or drink. Ever. Apparently, he's lived for 70 years on nothing but air and meditation.
Can this possibly be true?
Can this possibly be true?
Friday, April 9, 2010
hmmmmm....
Possible????
The Indefinite Particle Friday, 9 April 2010 written by Jonathan Cainer
Subatomic particles are funny things. Invisible, mysterious and erratic. Scientists are now smashing them together in The Large Hadron Collider in an attempt to reveal secrets of the universe that might radically change our understanding of the world. It may even allow us to rewrite the rules of time. Apparently, they don't intend to get the Collider up to full speed till 2013. Meanwhile, the 'long count calendar' of the ancient Mayan civilisation 'runs out' in 2012. Some say this signifies the imminent end of time as we know it.' I wonder if these two events are connected?
The Indefinite Particle Friday, 9 April 2010 written by Jonathan Cainer
Subatomic particles are funny things. Invisible, mysterious and erratic. Scientists are now smashing them together in The Large Hadron Collider in an attempt to reveal secrets of the universe that might radically change our understanding of the world. It may even allow us to rewrite the rules of time. Apparently, they don't intend to get the Collider up to full speed till 2013. Meanwhile, the 'long count calendar' of the ancient Mayan civilisation 'runs out' in 2012. Some say this signifies the imminent end of time as we know it.' I wonder if these two events are connected?
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Pluto
Pluto turns retrograde today for months...time to face your past.
Pluto rules Sex, Reincarnation, Power Struggles... Reconnect with the people who have shared important life events with you! You have something to share with each other.....
and...
The Large Hadron Collider has been switched on again in Switzerland. For over a week, tiny subatomic particles have been crashing into each other at great speeds. Yet, so far, these have neither created a black hole, nor corrupted the fabric of space and time, causing us to slip into a parallel universe. But, then, a parallel universe is a world almost exactly like this one, in which just a few key factors are different. If we did pass through such a portal, we might not even know. If you have noticed anything strange lately, perhaps this is why! ----Jonathan Cainer
.
my motto of the month: Live and let Live!
Pluto rules Sex, Reincarnation, Power Struggles... Reconnect with the people who have shared important life events with you! You have something to share with each other.....
and...
The Large Hadron Collider has been switched on again in Switzerland. For over a week, tiny subatomic particles have been crashing into each other at great speeds. Yet, so far, these have neither created a black hole, nor corrupted the fabric of space and time, causing us to slip into a parallel universe. But, then, a parallel universe is a world almost exactly like this one, in which just a few key factors are different. If we did pass through such a portal, we might not even know. If you have noticed anything strange lately, perhaps this is why! ----Jonathan Cainer
.
my motto of the month: Live and let Live!
Monday, March 29, 2010
bits and pieces
Tonight the Full Moon in Libra will make for an interesting night in the ER...I expect ODs and lots of anxiety ...
The moon is full in my fourth house of home and family... I'm feeling the urge to re-decorate or move....make some major changes...and THAT produces anxiety for me...:)
On a happier note...Sam Bradfords' pro day was a super success!! He is going to have a long and brilliant careerin the NFL!
YAY Sam! Congratulations!
The moon is full in my fourth house of home and family... I'm feeling the urge to re-decorate or move....make some major changes...and THAT produces anxiety for me...:)
On a happier note...Sam Bradfords' pro day was a super success!! He is going to have a long and brilliant career
YAY Sam! Congratulations!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
oh no!
and the hits for Sandra Bullock just keep on coming!
11 women now have come forward regarding Jesse James...11...what he's trying to out Tiger, Tiger?!
Listen, I fell in love with my own Jesse James ( I'll call him Mr. X)..I know how it feels..he was a fabulously talented Director of Photography, living his life going from one movie ot tv set to the next. He was honest to god, to-die-for handsome, think a cross between Antonio Bamderas and Steven Seagall...I know but, this was the 90's and yes he had a ponytail. My X was charming, affectionate and so sexy he could, well, he was sexy!
He could have any woman he wanted and did. He was single when I met him and he had me at hello.
We fell in love so hard and fast, the only time that has ever happened to me. Trouble was there were lots of women in love with him and unbeknownst to me he was already engaged to one...sigh...long story short, he broke my heart. Shattered it actually.
But, I think now, with the perspective of time, that it all comes down to value systems.
My value system was completely different than his.....he wasn't trying to hurt me he was simply being true to himself.
It didn't make us care for each other any less and I like to think he still thinks about me often...I was important to him. And, much later, I was told he thought he wasn't "good enough for me".
So I hope Sandra, and all women.. myself included...look for someone whose morals and value systems are similar to ours.
Life is about cycles and change....we can't change anyone but ourselves. We are all different, be true to you!
11 women now have come forward regarding Jesse James...11...what he's trying to out Tiger, Tiger?!
Listen, I fell in love with my own Jesse James ( I'll call him Mr. X)..I know how it feels..he was a fabulously talented Director of Photography, living his life going from one movie ot tv set to the next. He was honest to god, to-die-for handsome, think a cross between Antonio Bamderas and Steven Seagall...I know but, this was the 90's and yes he had a ponytail. My X was charming, affectionate and so sexy he could, well, he was sexy!
He could have any woman he wanted and did. He was single when I met him and he had me at hello.
We fell in love so hard and fast, the only time that has ever happened to me. Trouble was there were lots of women in love with him and unbeknownst to me he was already engaged to one...sigh...long story short, he broke my heart. Shattered it actually.
But, I think now, with the perspective of time, that it all comes down to value systems.
My value system was completely different than his.....he wasn't trying to hurt me he was simply being true to himself.
It didn't make us care for each other any less and I like to think he still thinks about me often...I was important to him. And, much later, I was told he thought he wasn't "good enough for me".
So I hope Sandra, and all women.. myself included...look for someone whose morals and value systems are similar to ours.
Life is about cycles and change....we can't change anyone but ourselves. We are all different, be true to you!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
men...
Today would have been the "King of Cool" Steve McQueens' 80th birthday! Wow... Hollywood just doesn't have men like him anymore..today's leading men?...all seem like little boys.
And...I know what I'm talking about....:)
Casting for film and tv for so many years...the leading men in this decade from fey, androgynous Robert Pattinson to charming "goofy" George Clooney...Tom "ahem" Cruise...maybe Russell Crowe has come close, but really???
Nobody like McQueen.
McQueen typified the iconic loner, Marlboro type, super sexy man that all women want....sigh...where are all the men like him?
And...I know what I'm talking about....:)
Casting for film and tv for so many years...the leading men in this decade from fey, androgynous Robert Pattinson to charming "goofy" George Clooney...Tom "ahem" Cruise...maybe Russell Crowe has come close, but really???
Nobody like McQueen.
McQueen typified the iconic loner, Marlboro type, super sexy man that all women want....sigh...where are all the men like him?
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
ok...here goes!
I've put this off for days...I'm scared to start writing...but, have to jump off the abyss some time, so here goes!
What is it with men and women these days?
Is cheating on the rise or because of the internet we hear about it constantly?
I have never been married and I must confess...why bother?
Really?? Why bother??? Can no one stay faithful these days?
From that plastic man Tiger to disgusting Jesse James...to the guy you think is perfect for you
and promises he is "going" to get divorced (yeah right!) or worse, the guy who doesn't bother to tell you he's married!
I don't know...I'm feeling so ...lost...what is the bond that keeps some people together? And. will I ever have it?
Well...enough for my first post.....not meant to be a downer...the divorce news these days is just so discouraging.
Meanwhile...I, unlike Bridget Jones, am happy in my singledom. Just would like to meet a HOT, SINGLE MAN!!
Universe.....are you listening?
J
What is it with men and women these days?
Is cheating on the rise or because of the internet we hear about it constantly?
I have never been married and I must confess...why bother?
Really?? Why bother??? Can no one stay faithful these days?
From that plastic man Tiger to disgusting Jesse James...to the guy you think is perfect for you
and promises he is "going" to get divorced (yeah right!) or worse, the guy who doesn't bother to tell you he's married!
I don't know...I'm feeling so ...lost...what is the bond that keeps some people together? And. will I ever have it?
Well...enough for my first post.....not meant to be a downer...the divorce news these days is just so discouraging.
Meanwhile...I, unlike Bridget Jones, am happy in my singledom. Just would like to meet a HOT, SINGLE MAN!!
Universe.....are you listening?
J
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